<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>in the quiet and the night by monyaka</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358978">in the quiet and the night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/monyaka/pseuds/monyaka'>monyaka</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Tyrant’s Bodyguard (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, M/M, Married Life, Post canon, as a treat, jin is autistic because i said so, maybe i just think jin should be partially nonverbal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:49:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,042</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358978</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/monyaka/pseuds/monyaka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>so sean had looked into jin’s clear eyes, into those straightforward eyes that had always felt like a refuge to him. and he’d told jin his true feelings — that he could do whatever his heart desires, that the emperor would remain safe no matter what. their relationship had used to be built on falsehoods, had been based on tests and tricks. and sean remembered how jin put his hand on his chin and thought hard about it. and eventually, he’d decided to continue his work at guard one. perhaps the both of them had thought the decision would disappoint sean, but the opposite had proved to be true. when the emperor had looked at his husband, he’d felt… he’d felt proud.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>after a long day of work, all jin and sean really need is a quiet moment together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sean Li/Jin Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>in the quiet and the night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i know there’s a canon ending. but this is canon in my heart &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the two of them are both workaholics when it comes down to it — sometimes jin will finish his job earlier than sean does, or sometimes it’s the other way around. and sometimes sean will work overtime, completely engrossed in his papers and documents and drawn-out meetings, and other times, he’ll be so consumed with thoughts of his husband that he can’t find himself focusing at all. sean’s grown used to those shades of gray, the nuance of sometimes rather than black-and-white absolutes. today is one of those days that sean retires early, that he finds himself laying with his back against the too-soft pillows and taking off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose and suppressing a yawn as he thinks about his former bodyguard.</p>
<p><em> former </em> bodyguard, because jin had offered to be his bodyguard full-time, just as they’d used to be. and though sean feels that every moment of his day is brighter when jin is around, though he would give anything for the ability to turn his head on a whim and see his husband standing there… ultimately, sean had refused. he’d given his reasoning, that he would rather jin not be involved with the royal family more than he needs to be, that he doesn’t want to retraumatize him.</p>
<p><em> “it’s not that at all, is it?” </em>that’s what jin had said, with his matter-of-fact tone and his too-serious eyes. he’d had his hand to his lips, sean remembers, because the emperor had started to go red despite himself and his gaze had fallen down to the other’s mouth. when had his bodyguard gotten so good at seeing through him?</p>
<p>and sean had conceded. <em> “it isn’t. i was just thinking… i don’t want to suffocate you.” </em></p>
<p>that’s not it either, but it’s closer. the truth is that sean is afraid of himself, afraid of getting too close. afraid that he might grow overly possessive, that he would get high off jin’s mere presence while jin would simply grow tired of him. it’s an old insecurity, but when it comes to jin… sean has never wanted to risk anything. he’s too precious to him.</p>
<p>but jin had just nodded, frowned like he was deeply considering it. and finally, he said, <em> “i have a lot of confidence in my abilities, so i don’t want to see anyone else guarding you. that’s all.” </em></p>
<p>but absence makes the heart grow fonder. he’d read that somewhere while he was studying abroad, and as sean stares up at the blurry ceiling, he feels that the old adage is correct. after all, there isn’t a time that sean misses jin more than when jin isn’t around — and there isn’t a time that sean loves jin more than when he catches sight of the other after not being able to all day. </p>
<p>presence and absence aren’t black-and-white either, sean thinks. it’s part of living in a grey world, to have moments together and moments apart. even if all sean wants to do is hide behind the mask or throw it off completely, jin has helped him realize that it’s all him. everything sean is, everything he does — it’s completely him. people don’t have to be black-and-white. actually, they’re all far more complex than sean had given them credit for. it’s funny, he thinks, that jin — jin the open book, the one who speaks his mind frankly and never beats around the bush, the simplest and most straightforward man sean has ever met — is the one to teach him complexity, but plenty of things in this world are unexpected. jin park is simply one of the better surprises.</p>
<p>so sean had looked into jin’s clear eyes, into those straightforward eyes that had always felt like a refuge to him. and he’d told jin his true feelings — that he could do whatever his heart desires, that the emperor would remain safe no matter what. their relationship had used to be built on falsehoods, had been based on tests and tricks. and sean remembered how jin put his hand on his chin and thought hard about it. and eventually, he’d decided to continue his work at guard one. perhaps the both of them had thought the decision would disappoint sean, but the opposite had proved to be true. when the emperor had looked at his husband, he’d felt… he’d felt <em> proud </em>.</p>
<p>he’s roused from his thoughts by the sound of an incoming text. the sound itself is enough to make sean’s heart rate pick up, to make him straighten up in bed and reach for his phone. is it jin? his hands seize the phone, eyes searching the screen with ardent desperation.</p>
<p>[ Jin ] The client is taking a long time to mingle. <br/>[ Jin ] I’ll be home later than expected. <br/>[ Jin ] Don’t stay up.</p>
<p>he stares at the messages for so long that his phone screen goes dark. a sudden blip before everything goes black. he can see himself reflected in the glass with eyes as big and sad as those of a kicked puppy. <em> i want to stay up, </em> he wants to type. <em> i miss you so much. i love you. i worry about you. i’ve been thinking about you all day. </em> but he can’t get his stiff fingers to type out the message. he doesn’t have the courage.</p>
<p>[ Sean Li ] Alright. Should I send a car for you when you’re done?</p>
<p>he watches the dots on the screen, how they pulse and move but never stop. straightforward, clear, pure. just like jin.</p>
<p>[ Jin ] Sure.</p>
<p>sean’s smile is bright and childlike, and he quickly texts back to instruct jin to call when he’s ready. his previous exhaustion seems to melt away at the mere thought of seeing his husband. after all, sean had never said that he wouldn’t be in the car as well. it’s a bit risky to go out on his own, but he’ll be with a trusted driver. and besides, he thinks giddily, jin will be there on the way back. the best bodyguard in all of korea. he’ll be perfectly safe.</p>
<p>the text comes in an hour and a half later, and it’s short and clipped. just one word: <em> now </em>. perhaps once upon a time, that may have made sean feel a bit confused, even insecure. but right now, it makes his brows furrow in concern. it could be nothing, sure, but if he knows jin…</p>
<p>“try to get there as soon as possible, mr. kim,” he instructs the driver as he settles in the back seat of the car. the seatbelt slides on, a reassuring click in the relative darkness of the streets. the sun has long since set, and it’s easier for the emperor to see his own reflection in the mirror rather than the scenery outside. his eyes look tired, his forehead creased with worry. he glares at his reflection, searches his own eyes for signs of falsehood. he finds nothing. </p>
<p>
  <em> even if things could change, it still wouldn’t have meant anything. you kissed me with your mask on. was that even a real kiss with you? </em>
</p>
<p>sean’s hand comes up to touch his cheek, fingers twitching once he touches skin. as if he were expecting plastic or clay. something inhuman. this living, breathing mask — insincere, untrustworthy… has sean truly outgrown it? the fire of his worry for jin is nothing more than crackling embers, a sort of shame burying the inferno. it’s foolish for him to worry, it’s not befitting of an emperor… and yet, he worries. which is sean, truly? the kind emperor? a tyrant? a man who loves his husband, or a demon who seeks only to possess him? </p>
<p>when he kisses him, is it real? or is it through a mask? </p>
<p>the car pulls to a stop outside the venue, and sean turns his head. there he is, in his black suit, with his elbow crooked, hand to his lips. with his weary gaze, a frown on his lips that almost makes him look juvenile. he’s sticking by the wall, but he spots the familiar vehicle and hastens his steps. even from inside the car, sean feels like he can hear jin’s footsteps, can feel them slamming within his ribcage. one step, two steps, closer and closer. the emperor can barely stay in his seat, eyes widening with anticipation — and in this moment, he’s not calculating, not worrying, not even thinking. all he wants is to see him. to hold him. to kiss him. sean sits unmasked as jin tumbles into the car.</p>
<p>for a moment, neither of them say anything. there’s just the sound of jin fastening his seatbelt, all the way on the other side of the car. the silence is deafening. </p>
<p>“was the job difficult today?” the car is so quiet that sean can hear the sound of his own lips parting. jin says nothing in response, and doesn’t turn his head to see the bitter melancholy in his husband’s eyes. it’s just as sean suspected — jin is tired. so tired that he sent his text with only one word, and so tired that he can’t muster up the energy to speak.</p>
<p>the driver, seeming uncomfortable with the silence, turns on the radio. jin flinches immediately, and a white-hot anger bursts through sean like fireworks ripping through the sky. he has to bite his tongue to keep from snapping, has to school his expression into a neutral indignance rather than a fiery shout. “mr. kim, i’d like to drive without music today.” his voice is soft, unobtrusive, and he watches as his husband’s shoulders start to relax, as his cheek droops further into his palm. </p>
<p>finally, jin looks over. he’s not looking at sean’s face, but that’s just fine by the emperor. instead, he simply unbuckles his seatbelt and moves to the seat next to the bodyguard. jin says nothing. he tiredly fumbles with the fabric of sean’s shirt, clumsy fingers slipping into the grooves between the buttons. and, unthinkingly, sean can do nothing but obey his whims. he gently kisses jin on the top of his head, uses one hand to unfasten his shirt after discreetly ensuring that the privacy screen is intact. and jin, with the kind of soft sigh that makes the emperor’s heart clench in his chest, rests his head gently on the exposed skin, nuzzles into him and grabs fistfuls of sean’s clothing.</p>
<p>it’s quiet. sean has to wonder if jin can hear his heart beating under his paper skin. he can hear jin’s deep breathing, can feel the warmth blooming through his chest, and just these small intimacies set his cheeks ablaze. his hand comes up nervously to set itself on his husband’s hair. “will you go to sleep?” he wants to add something to the end. something soft and sweet, a pet name, <em> my love </em>. but sean has never been the brazen sort, has always been the sort to hold his tongue.</p>
<p>jin nods, his hair tickling sean’s chest.</p>
<p>“alright,” sean whispers, and he is whispering despite himself. jin is the sort of person who doesn’t like hassle or fuss, who prefers quiet and stillness. he’s like a skittish cat, always watching you with a note of distrust in his eyes. and sean has learned over time that jin has never needed someone who blazes like the sun. all he needs is someone to reflect back at him. softly, so softly. to take fine details and subtle nuance into account, to whisper to him when the world is as still and calm as the night. “sleep tight, mr. jin.”</p>
<p>he can feel the curve of the bodyguard’s smile against his skin, the gentle flutter of his lashes, the deep sigh jin gives in response. and then he feels the soft press of lips in the crease in the middle of his chest. a kiss. </p>
<p><em> i love you, </em> he thinks to say, with one hand over his trembling lips and his eyes wet with the sudden onset of tears. but like the coward he is, he guards the words in his chest until he hears his husband’s breaths evening out, until the head cradled in sean’s arms and chest goes perfectly slack. only then does he let the words slip from his lips. </p>
<p>“i love you, jin. truly, i do.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>